


Borderline

by pretense



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-02
Updated: 2009-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-06 15:10:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretense/pseuds/pretense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing lasts forever. You know that; I know that as well. He did too… but he just wasn’t able to take it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Borderline

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The authoress holds no claim to Bleach or any of its characters.
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4853048/1/Borderline).

It all began when I entered the apartment complex late one night. It was way past ten in the evening but I was just on my way home. Yes, I am aware that it is quite late but I cannot do anything about it. My profession often leaves me at such circumstances wherein I have no choice but to work overtime just to ensure the safety of my clients. Paying the fare and getting out of the taxicab, I adjusted my glasses and held onto my briefcase, erasing all thoughts of work from my mind and internally preparing myself for some sleep. The apartment where I live in is three stories high with its exterior made of marble. The short flight of stairs leading to the small open lobby was made with the same marble, and a male guard stood at its top. He gave a salute and I waved in reply, that guy was a truly duty-bound officer; I have yet to come home without him guarding the apartment's entrance way.

I walked past the guard in a gradual pace, my body already stressed out from work; the soles of my shoes creating soft echoing sounds in the well-lit but quite deserted hallway. Abruptly I stopped, a familiar and pungent smell reaching my nose. 'Beer,' I concluded with distaste, I had never been the type to like alcohol. 'Yammy must be having another drinking party…' I shook my head in disgust at my neighbor's tastes. Honestly, wasn't it just last week that they drank til early morn, at the same time singing out of tune songs that literally kept me awake? I sighed. That man is really hopeless. Resuming my quick walk to my unit, as to escape the offending smell, I reached the center oval of the apartment, a place that was the usual setting for any party held at this place. I blinked in surprise when instead of the numerous people that I expected to find, there was only one man in the oval… the least of my neighbors that I'd ever expect to go drinking.

"Why are you still up so late, Tesra?" I asked genially as I approached the dirty-blonde haired man.

His form was slouched over the glass tabletop, one hand loosely holding a half-empty bottle of beer. Hearing his name, the man stirred and blurred mocha eyes looked up at me. "Hey, Doctor…" he greeted with a slight slur.

A small smile tugged at my lips; ever since I received my doctorate degree, the guy began calling me like that. "I would like to ask what you're doing but I think I've already seen enough," I replied casually. I scanned his surroundings and found a total of seven bottles of beer; three were empty, one was in Tesra's hand, and the other three appeared to be untouched. "Since when did you drink?" I queried, seeing his drunken state unnerved me somewhat.

"…I… It's nothing…" the brown-eyed man before me responded, half-slurring in his words.

"Tesra, I don't think you can handle more of this… Come on, I'll help you back to your apartment." I told him, using my authoritative tone when he grunted in disagreement. Setting down my briefcase on an empty chair, I got Tesra's keys, which were hanging out from his jeans' pocket and supported his body as I led him towards his apartment unit, which was right next to mine.

I opened the door and brought him to his bed, leaving his room keys at the dresser beside it. I then tiptoed my way out of his room, making sure not to make a sound as I went. The room wasn't messy but it wasn't exactly tidy either… I could say it was neat enough given that it was a man living alone in there. There was only a handful of furniture, just the basic necessities unlike some who find it their duty to stock up on every single gadget made on earth. I whispered a quiet goodnight to my neighbor before completely leaving his room, making sure to lock the door behind me.

Fetching my briefcase, I purposely left behind the bottles of ale and headed on to my own unit to get some proper sleep. Still, I couldn't quite reason out with myself why my good-natured neighbor would go drinking by himself.

The next morning, I woke up feeling slightly better. Finishing a quick cold shower, I plopped in some bread on the toaster and began to dress up for work. The familiar  _ping_  of the toaster reached my ears and I got out some marmalade from my refrigerator. My small breakfast was finished in a few minutes and I quickly washed the dishes, brushing my teeth before heading out with my usual briefcase.

As I headed out, I thought I heard a  _thump_  from Tesra's room but since I was nearly running late, I pushed it to the back of my mind as I briskly walked out of the complex.

Once again, I came home late that night, many emergencies came to the hospital today and I quite frankly smelled of blood. Quite a disgusting smell, but I didn't exactly have a choice with it; my profession being one that dealt with such things on a regular basis. Again, Mr. Guard was at his post. I was in quite a rush when I passed him and yet the smell of alcohol seemed to permeate the very air that surrounded the complex. As I went by the central oval, I once again found Tesra sitting on one of the tables with a number of beer bottles surrounding him, this time though, the huge figure of Yammy appeared to be sitting beside him.

I entered my apartment room, left my briefcase on the sofa and headed to my bathroom with the intention of sanitizing myself. It took me quite some time to be satisfied with my cleanliness before I got out from under the showerhead. Dressing up in a t-shirt and sweat pants, I fixed myself and headed out.

"Heeeeyyyy, Dooo-hic-tooowwwrrr…"

I politely inclined my head at Tesra's drunken address, scrunching up my nose when I recognized the blonde man's clothing to be the same things that he'd worn last night. Yammy, on the other hand, waved his big hand at me before chugging down another bottle of beer. I took the empty seat in between the two, promptly refusing the can of beer that Tesra had offered; I was actually aghast that aside from having bottles of ale, they also managed to get a hold on cans of alcohol. Sure, alcoholic beverages weren't banned from here but I didn't expect them to be so engrossed in drinking that they had bought not only one, but two types of drinks.

"Tesra… Didn't you have work today?" I inquired, doing my best to ignore the awful stench of alcohol.

"Imma… hic… on a –hic- daaayyyy off…" was the mocha-eyed man's sluggish reply.

"Lucky you…" Yammy commented from my other side, filling the air with quite a noisome smell. "I've got a bunch of good fer nothin' workers under me… Little bastard's can't even put two and two together…"

"Maybe you didn't train them properly," I informed the engineer but Yammy only gave a huff and ducked to his other side, presumably to get another drink.

Adjusting my posture, I gave Tesra a concerned look. The guy looked totally wasted. His dirty blonde hair was disheveled, his brown eyes were the dimmest I've ever seen and he had alcohol spilled all over his clothes. His cheek appeared to be stuck to the glass atop the table, and his eyes droopily looked up at me, a pitiful lopsided smile on his face.

"What's –hic- wronggg, Doctor?" he asks me.

I shook my head and pursed my lips. "I'm sorry, Tesra but I don't think all this drinking is doing you any good…"

"Buuut I-I'm –hic- fiiiiiiine…" he whined. "And… d-drinking –hic- makes me feeeeelll gooood…"

"Damn right!" Yammy interjected.

"Shut it." I spat at the black man before facing the obviously drunk Tesra. "Now  _you_  come with  _me_ , young man." I ordered, manhandling the blonde.

"Hey… No spoilin' the party!" Yammy reacted but I merely glared at him and proceeded to lead the intoxicated Tesra back into my unit.

Sitting him down on my couch, I went into my mini-kitchen and brought two glasses and a jug of water with me upon my return. Pouring water abundantly on both beverage wares, I gave one to my guest before taking a sip on my own glass. I watched Tesra from the corner of my eyes, his silence intriguing me to no end; the blonde man was now sitting motionless beside me, holding the glass of water with both hands, his dimmed eyes staring blankly at nothing in particular.

"Tesra? Are you feeling ill?" I asked.

That seemed to bring him out of his reverie as he jumped a bit, sloshing cold water upon his jeans. He blinked and looked around, mocha eyes landing on himself, uncountable emotions swimming in those deep brown orbs.

"Drink up," I admonished, supporting the glass as the younger man beside me lifted the beverage ware to drink from it. Only a fourth of the water content remained once Tesra put it down.

"Thank you doctor… I guess I needed that…" Tesra spoke in a quiet voice, half a smile on his lips.

"What are you doing to yourself?" I found myself asking. I've been living next door to the blonde for five years; I've known him since high school and he moved next to my apartment when he reached fourth year, by which time I had already taken up a medical course in college. If those weren't enough bases for me to know that something was wrong with him, I don't know what was.

"I'm alright…" the mocha-eyed blonde replied, giving me a full smile that never reached his lifeless eyes.

"You know that I can't just believe that, Tesra…" I informed him.

"But, Doctor, patient here tells you that he's okay, won't you believe him?"

"Don't play cute Tesra, I know there's something wrong with you… Why won't you tell me?"

Tesra's expression considerably darkened, his gaze went downcast and his lips formed a thin line. "…I… I'm trying to deal with it on my own for now…"

"Tesra, your getting yourself drunk senseless… Do you have any idea how many diseases you could get if you continue this?"

"…I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize, Tesra, just tell me what's wrong with you…"

A weak smile crept onto his features. "Thank you for the concern, Doctor… but I'll tell you when I'm ready to talk about it, okay?"

I pursed my lips… Tesra wasn't exactly the 'open' type of person, befriending him for nine years is quite enough for me to draw that conclusion. He's the type to hold in everything to himself, not wanting to let others experience his distress… Oh if only our other colleague was here…

"Just promise me one thing, Tesra…"

He inclined his dirty-blonde head to one side as is asking 'What?'.

"Stop drowning your system in alcohol… Bathe. Fix yourself up. Get some sleep. If you can have another day off tomorrow, then do so and spend the day resting. When I come back from work I should neither see nor smell the scent of alcohol within a five-meter radius of you. Do I make myself clear?" I spoke to him using the tone I used for my patients at the hospital.

The younger man nodded meekly. Thanking me for 'all my troubles'

Finished with my usual morning business, I headed out of my flat but just as I was closing my door, the one right next to mine opened. Tesra walked out, looking like he had quite a good sleep. I greeted the blonde and he smiled back.

"Where are you going at this early hour?" I ask him as we walked out of the apartment together. It was barely seven o'clock; I deeply wondered whether he felt as rested as he looked.

"Work," he answered simply, putting on a charming smile.

"Are you sure you can take that?" I ask him as I nodded at the guard who was already calling out a cab for me. It had been quite a routine, really, nothing more about it.

"I'm still a bit dizzy," Tesra admitted, "but I'm fine. I can't let my work pile up after all…"

A cab stopped directly in front of us and Mr. Guard opened the door. I went in per usual but before the door was closed, I called out the blonde who was standing just outside. "Come on, Tesra," I invited, "I'll drop you off at your office."

Tesra smiled and slid into the back seat beside me, the apartment guard closing the door behind him as I gave the cab driver the directions.

The traffic was smooth that morning and I waved goodbye to Tesra when we reached the local newspaper's headquarters. As the driver continued to bring me to my destination, I felt pride swell within me; it was a spur of the moment feeling that sparked when I watched the mocha-eyed blonde go into his office building. Tesra has surely flown high… much higher than I would have ever expected from him. Back in high school, he'd been of a year lower than me and yet I've always found him just about wherever I went. Well, that was probably because he idolized Nnoitra, a classmate and good friend of mine. Tesra looked nothing less than a doting sidekick to Nnoitra back then, it was almost close to impossible to see one without the other. As such it had been quite a surprise for all of us when my classmate declared that he's be going abroad. It was just after high school graduation that Nnoitra informed all of us that his parents were sending him abroad to study. Most of us were devastated, we've all already planned to go to the same college together and then that happens in a snap. Tesra was still in fourth year high school then, and we weren't exactly in touch with one another at that time so I never knew how he reacted to that, but seeing him now… The blonde has surely found success. Maybe… having Nnoitra fly away had been good for Tesra, since he probably learned to stand on his own because of that…

The taxi reached the city hospital approximately fifteen minutes later. I paid the fare and got out, preparing for another stressful day at work.

**XoXoXoX**

Quite an unexpected surprise met my eyes when I came home today. Outside my door laid a medium-sized purple-hued box, a pink ribbon tied around it and a thinner brown box on top of it, at the very top of the pile laid a small white envelope. I lowered my briefcase beside the unusual package and picked up the envelope. Opening it, I found a short note inside, written in an extremely graceful handwriting; it read:

' _Doctor,_

_Thanks for everything. Sorry if I made you worry or anything. Hope you wouldn't mind these taking up a small space in your fridge._

_-Tesra_ '

I pushed my spectacles up the bridge of my nose, slipping back the note into the envelope, I kneeled down to get a better look at the parcel on my doorstep. The thin brown box was revealed to be a box of truffles, I beamed in delight when I lifted the top and saw its contents; Tesra sure knew my tastes. Lifting up the truffles' box, I slightly pushed away the pink ribbon on the purple box to better see the golden inscription on its surface. A short flicker of surprise came onto me when I read the label. Why, it was from my favorite cake shop! I could almost hear my stomach grumble at the knowledge of the sweets that I had in front of me.

My eyes landed on the door next to mine. Tesra was already probably asleep given that it was already 10:15 pm when I left the hospital earlier. I felt my gaze soften, what a sweet boy that blonde was.

I stood up, opened my door, and quietly took in the 'presents' that I got, along with my customary briefcase. A mental note was made in my mind to thank Tesra for this tomorrow, as well as to get him something in return.

I purposely left the hospital earlier today, making an up excuse that everyone quickly bought. The time was 7:50 pm when I reached the apartment complex. The slightly surprised guard greeted me upon my return. With a smile, I asked him if Tesra had already come back from work, he replied that the blonde had indeed come back a few minutes prior. Thanking him, I quickly went on my way.

I entered my room quietly, stowed my briefcase beside the coffee table, changed into casual attire, and went into my kitchen to fetch my paraphernalia. Around ten minutes later, I was already outside Tesra's door, knocking. I controlled the giggle that threatened to escape me as I imagined what the blonde's expression would be once he opened his door. Shuffling noises came from within, a split second later, the mahogany door was opened just enough to reveal blonde fringes covering a tanned forehead, half of the tanned face and one mocha-hued iris staring up at me in surprise.

"D-Doctor!" Tesra exclaimed.

"Hey," I replied with a wide smile. "Won't you let me come in?" I asked, lifting up both hands to show the plastic bag that I'd brought with me.

He blinked twice before his head snapped up quickly. "W-Wait for a moment, doctor… I-I'll just fix up some things…" the brown-eyed man before me stuttered.

"Oh don't worry, it's alri-" I tried to tell him but he'd already closed the door. Muffled sounds of moving furniture, padding feet and other indistinguishable sounds came forth. A minute later, Tesra fully opened the door and stepped aside to let me in.

"Honestly Tesra, you didn't have to…" I commented as he closed the door behind me.

"Well believe me, Doctor, you wouldn't have liked it if I didn't clear things up a bit…" he replied as he led me into the center of his unit. "Err… No offense but… Why  _are_  you here, Doctor?"

"First off," I began as I entered his kitchenette and placed my things down on the kitchen counter. "I want to thank you for the package that you left for me last night. You didn't really have to, but thank you anyway."

"Oh, no worries, Doctor, it was alright…"

"Well, anyway, did you already have dinner?" I asked as I took out my trusty apron from the plastic bag.

"No, not yet…" came his rather uneasy reply.

"Good." I tell him as I tied up the strings of the apron around me. "Then, I'll cook dinner for the two of us." I finished with a smile directed at his seemingly confused self.

Tesra stood there, a sheepish look on his features. "A-Ah, well, you really don't have to, Doctor…" he tells me sincerely. "Actually, I was just about to order out some-"

"Nonsense. Don't worry your pretty little head over it," I say pleasantly, getting out the ingredients. "Now would you be a darling and place these slices of cake in your refrigerator for a while?" I inquired, holding up a tupperware that contained about one-fourth of the cake that he'd given me the other night.

"S-Sure…" Tesra hurriedly replied and did what I asked of him.

"Now what do you say to some chicken curry?"

**XoXoXoX**

We were just finishing up our dessert when I spotted something out of the corner of my eyes. A deep green edge of something was poking out from under the couch that the two of us occupied, it was placed quite conveniently nearer to me and whilst Tesra was distracted, I sneakily grabbed it and pulled it out from its location. But even before I could lift up its lid, an affronted cry interrupted me.

"D-Doctor! Wh-Where did you get that?" Tesra's upset tone hindered my movements.

Adjusting my glasses, I put up an innocent mien, "This? Oh, I just found it lying around Tesra… Can I have a look at it?"

"T-That's… It's quite personal… Y-You shouldn't…" A reddish hue rose up on the blonde man's cheeks. He looked absolutely flustered.

"Pretty please?" I added on a pout. He won't be able to resist this…

"But, Doctor…"

I blew up my cheeks a bit, exerting a bit more effort into looking pitiful. "Puh-leeeaase…?"

"Oh…" He actually sounded torn at this… Just a little more and he'll give in…

I held the rather flat green-hued box higher, grasping its sides tightly. I tilted my head to one side and gave him a wide smile. "Please, Tessy?"

I could almost see him twitching at the unfamiliar nickname.

Tesra shook his head, as if pitying himself if not anybody else. "Fine, fine… You win, Doctor…"

"Yay!" I exclaimed in the most childish manner that I could muster.

He just smiled and took the green box from my hands, laying it in between the two of us. It was only then that I had a proper view of the object. The box was of a jade green color, a bright silver lining running along its edges, its glossy surface quickly captivating my senses. Its shape was a perfect square; one side of it was almost as long as my own forearm.

Tesra's hands took a hold of the lid, fully lifting it up to reveal the contents. I curiously peered inside. There were numerous photographs inside, pieces of paper, a small notebook, and other small trinkets… Oh dear… Tesra wasn't kidding when he told me that the box was personal…

"Hey, erm, Tesra…" I looked up at the guy, "If the contents are really personal, you don't have to show it to me… I understand…"

His mocha eyes merely flickered for a second with some unreadable emotion before he replied with a full-blown smile. "Ah, don't worry about it, Doctor… I know I can trust you, so it's alright…" He then proceeded to bring out the objects from within the box.

The rest of the evening was spent browsing through the jade green box.

"Heyy… I remember this…" I stated as I picked out a photo from the box. It was an old photograph; I recognized it to have been taken back when I was still at the Academy, during my final year at high school. It was my class' photo. I turned to Tesra, a mischievous look upon me. "Oh Tesra… why do you have a copy of this? You weren't in my class…"

Tesra gulped, a wry smile settling on his lips. "Well, I asked for a copy of that from Nnoitra-sama way back when we were at the Academy…"

I raised a brow at this but I asked nothing more, my eyes trailing back to the photograph in my hands. We were forty in that picture, our class adviser and the school principal included. The navy blue and pristine white colors of our school uniform were certainly nostalgic. I tried to name each and every one of the people in the picture and was quite disappointed when I failed to recall the first names of three of my previous classmates. Pity.

In the photo, I was standing at the second row at the farthest left side, being one of the shortest in the class. I then spotted Nnoitra who was two people away from myself in the picture. He had a decided scowl on his face that left me wondering for quite some time until I noticed the girl sitting right in front of him… Wavy green hair and fierce hazel eyes, oh how could I forget? I didn't even realize that I've been snickering out loud until Tesra tapped my shoulder.

"Is there anything wrong, Doctor?" he asks me.

"Oh it's nothing… Look here…" I showed him that picture and pointed at Nnoitra, the first common friend that we had between us.

"Nnoitra-sama sure looks unhappy…" the blonde murmurs pensively beside me.

"Do you want to know why?" I prompt him.

"I've been asking Nnoitra-sama about it ever since but he never gave me a proper answer…" Tesra admitted, a hint of sorrow lacing his soft tone.

"Well, it's because of this…" I pointed to him the girl sitting in front of out raven-haired friend.

"Her?" a confused tone asks beside me.

"Nelliel Tu Oderschvank," I recited. "Back then she had always been Nnoitra's  _arch rival_  per se… From academic rankings up to the most recitations in class… Those were surely the good times…"

"So this Ms. Nelliel was the one Nnoitra-sama had been relentlessly complaining about before…" Tesra recalled.

"Correct." I nodded before letting out a sigh. "It's been so long since I've had any contact with my classmates…"

"Do you miss them, Doctor?"

I returned my gaze to Tesra, allowing a grin to pass my lips. "It's been well over a decade, Tesra… We're all grown up now and most of us have our own jobs and families… But yes, there are times where I find that I long for the companionship that I had back then…"

A total silence followed where the two of us merely stared at each other. Mocha brown eyes appeared murky to me, a clouded emotion filling up the blonde man's eyes; worry consumed me seeing Tesra like that, it wasn't his usual genial self. I just found myself asking him quietly, "So Tesra, any particular someone that you miss from high school?"

He blinked, the blank expression on his face changing into one that was filled with a bitter type of sweetness. Instead of replying immediately, Tesra's eyes traveled into the box. I instinctively followed the blonde's gaze and temporarily lost my ability to speak.

One of Tesra's hands held the box in place whilst the other one gently rummaged through the objects within. Folded pieces of paper were pushed away, revealing an inner layer of photos and a few newspaper cut outs (from our school paper, no less). Through all the pictures, a single person can be recognized; whether he was in the dead center of the images, just a silhouette in the background, a solo shot or a group photo, the image of the guy never disappeared from the collection. Piercing onyx eyes, a leering smile and raven-black locks… Silently, I mused that I didn't need to get an answer from Tesra after all…

I reached out and patted his blonde head, an action to which he reacted by jumping in his seat and turning to face me in surprise. I ruffled his hair, smiling encouragingly as I took both his hands and slid the class photo in between them before placing my own hands over his.

"Doc…tor…?"

I closed my eyes and smiled. "High school really is where we start building our lives, no?" He stared. "But it is also where we learn how to move on with it…"

I retracted my hands and folded them on my lap, leaving the old photograph in the blonde's grasps.

The next day, I saw neither face nor shadow of my blonde neighbor. All day long I couldn't help but wonder if I had said something wrong to him in the previous night. Patients that needed my attention only had half of it as I couldn't place my mind at ease over Tesra. Once again, I came home late; the waning gibbous moon and cloud-covered sky being my only watchers as I headed into my personal sanctuary. Anxiety plagued my being even as I laid on my bed, my vision blurry as I stared up at the gray ceiling above, willing myself to sleep.

A loud thud coming from the wall above my head took me from the grasps of sleep. I instantly sat up, eyes wide, trying to see anything in the dark; my ears likewise exerting much effort to hear any more sounds. Everything was silent for a minute or two, and then a low sound came into my hearing. Blame it on the thick wall in between the rooms for even as I stood from my bed and pressed my ear against the wood, I was still unable to decipher the sounds coming from my neighbor's unit. I cursed inwardly; damn it, what was happening in there? I moved not an inch as I strived to hear more but nothing came forth that was any more distinguishable than the first ones.

I resisted the urge to run out and force my way into Tesra's room. First he got himself drunk and now there were these weird noises coming from his room. It's been five days since I witnessed the unfathomable change in my blonde friend, and I was at my sanity's end. Finally, I bargained with myself that tomorrow, I would surely find an answer. I slid back into my comforters, willing myself into slumber.

Before heading to work, I made sure to leave a sticky note at Tesra's apartment door. I then went to the hospital filled with confidence that everything will be solved by the end of this day.

At nine pm sharp, I timed out of the hospital, a lenient smile being my only response to my co-worker's queries. I quickly hailed a taxicab and got in, telling the driver my destination as well as ordering him to get there pronto. The drive took thirty minutes at most and, as usual, Mr. Guard was at his post, greeting me with a salute, which I returned with a wave. I briskly made my way towards Tesra's apartment unit, which was right next to my own. I halted in my tracks when an imposing scenario met my eyes. A bright neon yellow square stood in stark contrast with the mahogany door that led to the blonde's flat.

'No way…' I thought to myself as I stood before the closed door, my eyes seeing through the lens of my glasses, reading the very same note that I left at the very same spot that morning. I've left post-it notes at Tesra's door many times in the past, usually, either he'd take it with him when he leaves, or he'd stick the note on my door with his reply. Never before had I come home with the note left untouched… it could only mean one thing: Tesra never went out. I knocked loudly on the door, a surge of panic beginning to course through my veins. A strange sort of intuition telling me that danger was lurking about.

I knocked thrice but there was no answer. I banged my fist harder against the door, calling out the resident's name but still there was nothing.

"Tesra!" I shouted, dropping my suitcase, now having both hands pounding on the mahogany door. "Are you in there? Say something!" I then pressed my ear against the wood, hoping to hear anything from within.

To an outside, I knew I looked nothing below hysterical but I could care less for such trivial things right now… A faint sound of movement reached my ears, accompanied by a not-so-promising groan.

"Tesra, open up!" I cried, resuming my pounding.

A loud indistinguishable groan came from the closed apartment door and I finally gave in. The tension all around me was suffocating, something was wrong with Tesra, I just knew it. And even though I tried hard to refrain from thinking too much into it, some part of me couldn't help but fear for the worst. Such is a natural thing for a doctor such as myself, but still, I cannot simply grasp the possibility that my blonde neighbor and friend could be in danger.

Sounds of a crash filled my ears and I stared. It came from inside. Tesra is in there and there was a crash. A crash and Tesra – Shit.

My right hand instinctively grabbed the silver doorknob, twisting and turning it to no avail. Shit. I was never the physical type, and I've never hated myself for being so until now…

"What's going on there?" a deep voice called from behind me.

I frantically turned around, panting a bit, and I faced the intimidating figure of the apartment complex's sentry. I must've been too loud… but this isn't the time to think about that!

"Leroux!" I strode towards him, unable to help the anxiety in my tone. "Something's wrong with Tesra! I left a note for him this morning and it's still there! He hasn't come out all day, I fear something bad might've happened to him!"

The black man's collected expression did nothing to calm my nerves. Didn't he understand the severity of the situation?

"Doctor, calm down-" he began, but I didn't need to hear any of his explanations.

"Open his door!" I commanded, my pale hands digging into his arms.

"Doctor-"

"Open the goddamn door!" I reiterated with added force. "The longer you take, the more serious Tesra's situation may become!"

"Sir!"

"Just do it!" I cried out, feeling my eyes fill up with liquid. Shit. I retracted my hands and gulped as the security guard walked past me and headed towards Tesra's door, the master key held in his right hand. I forced myself to calm down, praying to any god to please, please,  _please_  make Tesra alright.

I hurried to Leroux's side once I heard the lock click open. My fingers were digging into the palm of my hands as I waited for the guard to turn the knob and push open the wooden door. My hands fell limp and my silent prayers ended when the scene within the room was revealed to the two of us.

True, my blonde friend was inside his unit but he was in the most unexpected disposition that I never wanted to find him in. Clouded brown eyes and a smile on pale lips greeted my eyes. I shakily ventured inside, moving towards the figure of Tesra sitting on the apartment floor, leaning against the edge of his bed. I stopped when I stepped on something uneven in the floor. I lifted up my foot and found a small circular tablet pulverized underneath, I felt alarm fill my being when I realized that more of the little white tablets were strewn all over the floor. I gasped when I found an empty white bottle lying on the cluttered floor just beside Tesra's body… Medicinal overdose? Shit. Tesra!

With a start, I rushed to the blonde figure, grimacing when I found shards of shattered clear glass resting just beside his left hand, a puddle of clear liquid wetting his open palm and seeping into his jeans. I kneeled on his right side, cautiously taking the brown-eyed man's left arm and pulling it closer to myself before searching for his pulse. I pressed my two fingers firmly against his wrist, holding in my own breath until I felt a weak thumping against my digits. Tesra was alive… but only barely. I then rounded on the security guard who was standing, apparently frozen, upon the open doorway.

"Leroux! What are you standing there for?" I shrieked at the black man. "Go call an ambulance! We can still save him! Quickly!"

The sentry nodded and immediately went on his way to do what I've instructed. Meanwhile, I placed all my efforts into waking up the blonde beside me.

"Tesra…" I said in a hush, speaking as though any word of mine could break him. "…Wake up, Tesra…"

His murky brown orbs continued to blankly stare upwards and I bit back the whimper that was trying to tear from my throat.

My hand touched his cheek and I winced, feeling how cold it was. "What have you done to yourself?" I choked out. "Overdosing on pills… What were you trying to do?" Why didn't you tell me what's been troubling you?"

My gaze traveled down the blonde's paling body, my curiosity overcoming my anxiety when I found an opened envelop in Tesra's right hand. 'A suicide note?' I thought to myself, moving to take the white envelope from the blonde's seemingly cold and rigid hand.

I felt my breathing hitch when I read the writing on the white space at the back of the envelope. At the upper right corner was a single stamp featuring a waving American flag, opposite the stamp was an address. It was vaguely familiar but I couldn't for the life of me remember whose it was. In the middle of the white space was Tesra's own address; an ink mark that read 'Date Received', supplied with the date six days prior, caught my attention. A foreboding feeling made its presence known to me… So it wasn't a suicide note, it was a mail… but why did Tesra have it with him at a time like this? Could it be? The contents of the mail caused him to do this? The date was exactly the same as when I first found Tesra drowning himself in beer.

With a slightly trembling hand, I lifted the flap of the mailing envelope and pulled out a glossy lilac paper from inside. I gulped hard when I got it out and I was able to read the print on it's flawless back. My heart sank unexplainably when my eyes landed on the script-like text, but I firmly knew that I wasn't sad for myself… The text only contained three words, but somehow, those three explained to me that whole reason for Tesra's suicide attempt.

My eyes sought out the blonde man, finding that he has yet to move. So that was why… Even though I thought I didn't have to read anymore of the letter, I forced myself to open the lilac envelope and pulled out the cream-hued board paper that it contained. I scanned the text on it and froze, finding myself immobile upon simply reading the first two lines. A bittersweet smile landed on my lips, it all made sense now…

Minute shifting beside me brought me out of my reverie, hastily dropping the envelopes and paper in my hands, I moved closer to Tesra who appeared to be gaining consciousness…

His mocha eyes retained focus and turned towards me, I exhaled in momentary relief. Thank God… He still has a chance… Tesra's eyes suddenly widened and he looked downwards; I followed his line of sight and found that he was staring at his now-empty right hand. His eyes darted around the general area and stopped when he located the envelopes and paper scattered beside him. The blonde slowly looked up at me, an empty smile showing on his lips, sad relief shining in his eyes.

"Szayel-san…" he spoke softly, and I merely stared. It had been ages since he called me by my name. His voice was raspy, and it much too obvious that it was straining him to just open his mouth, much less speak. "Tell him… Tell Nnoitra-sama… I-" his breath hitched and I grasped him tightly by his shoulders.

"Tesra, stop it!" I ordered, though I knew that my voice was nothing authoritative… I was simply too worried by now. Damn it, he shouldn't waste his energy talking like this. "It's alright…" I tried to soothe him. "You can still be saved… Just… Just don't give up!" Salty liquid met the edges of my lips as the man I held beside me shook his head.

Tesra slowly turned his head from left to right, his breathing turning into gasps and pants. "I-I'm sorry," his gaze on me went completely out of focus as a clear liquid filled his eyes. "So-Sorry to you, too…fo-for all…" With a final breath, Tesra shed a tear from each eye, his eyelids slowly drooped close, his lips parted in an unreadable smile.

Ignoring the wetness that traveled down my own cheeks, I wrapped both my arms around the now-pale body and held it tight against my own. He didn't have to do this… There were so many things that he could've accomplished… But somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew that I had no right to tell him what would be 'the best' for him… For never could I imagine what Tesra's feelings had been when he read that letter, when he encountered those words… Those seven words… And here I thought seven was lucky number? I never knew seven simple words could destroy a life but for once I've been proven wrong. Me, Szayel Aporro Granz.

I bowed my head and leaned into the cold body that I held close, whispering to the empty and dead silent room. "You loved him, didn't you…?"

The light was reflecting on the lens of my glasses but I could still see and read the very lines that, I knew, drove my friend into his end… They were printed so neatly on the cream-hued board paper… curvy text, abundant with loops and swirls. It read:

**Gilga – Oderschvank Nuptial**

**Best Man – Tesra Lindocruz**


End file.
